As usual it has been a long time since my last post. There is no specific reason other than I have been too lazy to set my thoughts down on the computer screen.
Tonight however, I’ve had a very profound thought that I felt worthy of a quick post.
I’ve been watching a lot of religious documentaries lately and have been giving a lot of thought to religion and spirituality in general.
Rather than writing a lengthy build up to my main point, I thought I’d just cut quickly to the chase.
The idea of ‘eternity’ has always scared me very much.
As adults, I believe 99% of us have forgotten the thoughts we used to have as children. These thoughts are intense and do not necessarily fit within the parameters of “adult thought.” As adults, we have been training our minds how to think for a very long time and rarely deviate from these set patters. (No wonder thinking “outside the box” is so hard to actually do.)
As children however, we have some grand thoughts. I like to think these thoughts come from one of the following.
a.) Our brains are new and not set into any specific pattern, therefore can create some grand realities and ideas.
b.) We are spiritual beings and can still remember, even only for an instant of a second, the spirit world, before we became human.
Now, whichever it may be, one thought that has always caused me absolute terror whenever I think about it deeply, is the idea of “eternity.”
On the surface and through simple stream of consciousness, it is a nice idea. However, for those that can think deeply, those that can really comprehend what “eternity” means, I have found that this idea is absolutely terrifying.
To never ever end, our conscious just continues and continues, forever. This strikes fear into my very soul.
It is almost as though I’ve pulled this thought from a dream-state where thoughts can be so intense and so deep, that we awake in a sweat and try to shake the last remnants of that idea from our heads. This idea however has never left me.
I sometimes like to extrapolate the spiritual thought into various scenarios. Perhaps I was just a spirit floating in the void for many eternities yearning for the chance at a different reality when I had the luck to finally fall into this reality? Perhaps in the spirit world I’m terrified of continued existence so seek distraction by living relatively short experiences in different worlds such as the current one?
Maybe, I’ve been sent here to learn and develop my soul?
Well, if that is the case, I should probably move to Tibet or something because the consumerist / solipsistic culture I’m living in is not helping the spiritual journey. Turning on prime time television probably sets me back a few millennia in terms of soul development.
Or perhaps all I’ve said is just fantasy. Perhaps I’m just a wacko. In that case, my apologies, I shall go eat flesh, drink blood, grow the hair around my temples and make women cover themselves entirely in a black cloth so I can be considered “normal” in this realm. No need to pick and choose among the major religions, I’ll just follow all their traditions just to be safe.
Especially the drinking wine/blood part.
In Vino Veritas!