As usual it has been a long time since my last post.  There is no specific reason other than I have been too lazy to set my thoughts down on the computer screen.

Tonight however, I’ve had a very profound thought that I felt worthy of a quick post.

I’ve been watching a lot of religious documentaries lately and have been giving a lot of thought to religion and spirituality in general.

Rather than writing a lengthy build up to my main point, I thought I’d just cut quickly to the chase.

The idea of ‘eternity’ has always scared me very much.

As adults, I believe 99% of us have forgotten the thoughts we used to have as children.  These thoughts are intense and do not necessarily fit within the parameters of “adult thought.”  As adults, we have been training our minds how to think for a very long time and rarely deviate from these set patters.  (No wonder thinking “outside the box” is so hard to actually do.)

As children however, we have some grand thoughts.  I like to think these thoughts come from one of the following.

a.) Our brains are new and not set into any specific pattern, therefore can create some grand realities and ideas.

b.)  We are spiritual beings and can still remember, even only for an instant of a second, the spirit world, before we became human.

Now, whichever it may be, one thought that has always caused me absolute terror whenever I think about it deeply, is the idea of “eternity.”

On the surface and through simple stream of consciousness, it is a nice idea.  However, for those that can think deeply, those that can really comprehend what “eternity” means, I have found that this idea is absolutely terrifying.

To never ever end, our conscious just continues and continues, forever.  This strikes fear into my very soul.

It is almost as though I’ve pulled this thought from a dream-state where thoughts can be so intense and so deep, that we awake in a sweat and try to shake the last remnants of that idea from our heads.  This idea however has never left me.

I sometimes like to extrapolate the spiritual thought into various scenarios.  Perhaps I was just a spirit floating in the void for many eternities yearning for the chance at a different reality when I had the luck to finally fall into this reality?  Perhaps in the spirit world I’m terrified of continued existence so seek distraction by living relatively short experiences in different worlds such as the current one?

Maybe, I’ve been sent here to learn and develop my soul?

Well, if that is the case, I should probably move to Tibet or something because the consumerist / solipsistic culture I’m living in is not helping the spiritual journey.  Turning on prime time television probably sets me back a few millennia in terms of soul development.

Or perhaps all I’ve said is just fantasy.  Perhaps I’m just a wacko.  In that case, my apologies, I shall go eat flesh, drink blood, grow the hair around my temples and make women cover themselves entirely in a black cloth so I can be considered “normal” in this realm.  No need to pick and choose among the major religions, I’ll just follow all their traditions just to be safe.

Especially the drinking wine/blood part.

In Vino Veritas!


By Mateo de Colón

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! (^.^)/


  1. I enjoyed your post. I felt an urge to convey a subtle truth that I have come to realize in my existence.

    When you consider your sense of identity, and all of the notions attached to your “I/Me” concept, this is essentialy summoning the summation of your persondhood; the totality of who you are.  But what you have to understand is that anything that can be summoned or remembered, in this case your sense of identity, must come from the past and is essentially dead, not real, not alive, not now. The only thing alive in our existence is experiencING. Our perceptions of reality, from the perspective of a person, limits and confines this experiencing to set a conditions and filters from personhood. In this way, we never REALLY experience life as it is, but through a constant filter of interpretations, which report directly to the “I/Me” concept.

    Now hang with me here, but the concept of Time corresponds with reality in the same fashion. For, whom would time exist for other than for the one who keeps it? Think about it, if there was no person (conglomeration of memories and conditioning) there to observe the span from moment to moment, or to measure here from there or now till then, then time would in affect not exist.  A life of experiencing does not exist within time, nor is life subjugate to the existence of time. Time only comes into play when there is a person there to utilize it.  

    Now with all that said, and hopefully clearly, I want to make an effort to tie this into what I would interpret as your current set of beliefs.  If you believe in the spiritual realms and so forth then you probably believe in other dimensions of consciousness. Most of the schools of thought surrounding these concepts state that we exist in a dimension of time but that once in the 5th and 6th dimensions time becomes much clearer as to what it actually is and therefore much easier to dethrone from its supposed control over our lives.  So the next time the thought of eternity pops into your mind and evokes a sense of fear, ask your self who will be there to count the seconds if our actual spiritual natures are removed from the confines of personhood, and therefore free from spans and durations.

    Experiencing is what we are, we are not a person.  We are am’ness, period. Thats why Christ said I am that I am. His only identification was as a VERB and not a noun.  This is what we all are fundamentally. So when we pass over to the infinite realms, we wont ever even experience infinity, for to experience infinity is to attach a value and a value refers to the past.  We will know only knowing.

    I hope some of this helped to assuage your anxieties.  Ive pasted a couples quotes for you.

    “All experience takes place here and now, so the nature of reality, whatever that is, must be present in the intimacy and immediacy of this current experience” -Rupert Spira

    “With relinquishment of the activation of memory, one lives in the emergent instant rather than hanging on to the past or anticipating the future” Dr. David R. Hawkins

    -Nomaste, David Anthony

  2. WOW!!! I love your comment.

    In fact, I think that may be one of the best comments I’ve ever received on any blog ever. I can clearly understand that you are quite enlightened / have studied / are pursuing the meaning of life. I am extremely impressed! You are a person I could spend an afternoon with philosophising.

    The exploring of this issue could fill volumes of books and has! Therefore, I just want to keep my response as brief as possible because as I mentioned, we could fill a blog post, a book, novels, volumes with these ideas.

    1. I love your explanation of the “I/me” concept.
    – But I am curious why you chose Christ to explain this point. I think the Buddhists do much better with this. I do not doubt that Christ was an excellent teacher and my personal thought is that his teachings have been corrupted however…… I think the Buddhists are able to explain more clearly on this point.

    EX: A man asked Buddha, “I want Happiness.”
    Buddha responded “Remove I – That is Ego.”
    “Remove want – that is desire.”
    “All you are left with is happiness.”

    2. I love your idea that the purpose of life is EXPERIENCING.
    – I have come to understand this as well. Experiences are what make life worth living. In our current culture they would have us believe it is material things.

    Here is an esoteric thought. In Christianity they say that the “light is within us.” Preachers tell us God resides within us. I like to think that we are but a flicker, a flame of the whole and we are in fact part of God experiencing what we ourselves have created. That is to say God experiencing what he himself created through not 1000 points of light but billions.

    In any case, I agree, we are experiencing life through a filter, the I / me filter. I’ve been reading a lot of Buddhist books lately and a central tenant is to do away with the ego. They explain this point over and over. Therefore, again, I am curious why you chose Christ. It makes me think you are a very wise Christian, one who knows more than most.

    2. Time
    – The only thing I know is what I have experienced. I’ve experienced a lot and by comparing and contrasting I can relate to your point on time. I’ll simply refer to a quote by Alan Watts

    ““I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”
    —Alan Watts”

    I have read enough and understand the limitations of my own reasoning. It is at this point I rely on teachings of the great scientists such as Einstein, Hawking, Watts.” I can only grasp for a slight moment these thoughts and ideas before I slip back into daily life.

    As I mentioned in my post these thoughts occur at the brief moment between sleep and awake, they occur during meditation and they also occur after much wine! 🙂

    3. My belief structure

    First, I hate the words belief and faith. They have been dumbed down and thrown around as though the people have actually given some thought to what they believe. The majority believe what they do because they were taught to do so. Very few have woken up from this.

    Therefore, I like to say I have no belief structure. I have ideas and thoughts. These are nothing more than waves in my brain created by that which I’ve experienced. Nothing more than comparing and contrasting that which I’ve learned through my study of languages, cultures, religions and history.

    In the end, I’m nothing more than a curious mind that is absolutely addicted to more experiences and learning.

    Anyway, to wrap it up, I LOVE your comment. As I mentioned I’m following more of the Buddhist tradition now and concentrating on my own mind.

    I find it very difficult to focus on the present, to keep my mind here in the present and not let it drift off. I’ve been learning what “Zazen” is and hope to one day be able to quiet my mind and control my “experiencing” of this realm.

    As I mentioned, this is a very BIG subject that is hard to wrap up in a comment section.

    I love your comment and know that you are wise. I still cannot understand why you referenced Christ which would be very rare. You would fit much better with the Buddhists with this type of comment!

    Namaste and hugs to a fellow traveler!

    – El Guapo

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