Woke up this morning to the news story about a bully getting what he justly deserved. I was incensed to see that the victim also got suspended and so I got up rather early for a Saturday and wanted to write this post.
Ok, quick analysis on this. Why does the bully terrorize Casey? Well, he is being encouraged by his little friends and in the schoolyard social order he probably thinks that taunting Casey will actually make him more popular! Then look what happens after Casey slams the bully. Another boy goes up to Casey in a threating manner. I’d like to see what this boys parents have to say.
I am glad to see that the mother of the bully agrees that what her boy did was wrong. In America the bullies parents would probably sue. But then notice that wreak of a mother tries to make excuses replying to “Your son got what he deserved” she says “Well yes in a way but the other kid was a lot older as well.”
What a sorry excuse for a parent whose kid has turned out to be an asshole.
“Tina admits that her son got what he deserved but that her son is still a child and she contends that he is being demonized disproportionately as the fight has gone viral over the world wide web.”
Mame, your son is an asshole and is getting exactly what he deserves. He is old enough to know that punching people in the face is not a kind thing to do unless he is as mentally slow as you appear to be. This is not hard; punching people in the face is wrong. Now that he is getting this returned to him 1000 fold by the wrath of the web, now you are going to cry?
“We don’t need this posted everywhere as well.”
Yes, yes you do. You have failed as a parent, this is your wake up call.
Then Susan Mclain who is a former police officer says there is little she can do to stop it from the internet.
Well, no shit. How about these worthless parents teach their kids not to be assholes? Do you not think that getting to the root of the problem is more effective than trying to contain the consequences?
“The department of education has released a statement saying that Chifley College does not tolerate violence and treats all cases according to its community agreed discipline code.”
What a benign worthless statement by those wankers in the HR department. Grow a pair of balls and punish the bully you stupid twats.
“A victim has a right to defend themselves but it has to be equal to the threat.”
That Susan is a load of nonsense. You eliminate the threat as thoroughly as possible.
As for me, I remember my childhood very clearly. I too also had a bully from the second to fifth grade and can still remember the resentment I had for him, teaching staff and seemingly no way out.
The problem is that adults always handle the situation very poorly. They do not remember what it is like to be a kid, especially one with a bully. But apparently a huge amount of people on the internet do remember and thus videos like these get massive hits and the victim tons of support.
First, let me tell you about my experience. Everything was dandy up until the second grade and then a “bad” kid joined the class. In the social order of the second grade there is a hierarchy where the toughest, most athletic kid becomes “the boss” of the boys. In some cases he can be amiable or in others a terror. In my case, this alpha male was pretty mellow and everything was fine until Adam came along.
For him, establishing his place in his new environment was very important and his method was to pick one person out and terrorize them. That person was me. In doing so, it made the other alpha male laugh and thus continued.
My thought at the time was that the alpha male was probably concerned about being knocked off his perch and thus had to make quick friends with Adam so as not to lose his rank. I believed that if those two ever got into a fight, it would be Adam who would win and thus the support of the alpha male.
I remember three specific occasions, two of which involve the bully but also one which showed the weakness of the alpha male. We’ll call this third one “The Art Incident.”
1. No Justice
I was just sitting minding my own business doing arts and crafts or something like that when the bully and Alpha male decide to come over and join me. Then for some unknown reason Adam decides to hit me right on the forehead.
Now, being a rather bright second grader my possible responses quickly raced through my mind.
a.) Hit back – But to be honest, I was afraid because I would probably lose. To add to the fear, I would get in trouble, my mother would be called and I would be severely punished. (I will get to the justice aspect later)
b.) Take it and show I couldn’t be hurt
– So, realizing that fighting back might be a lose-lose situation, I told him to “hit me again,” which he did. I told him a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th time and he again complied. After the 6th time it started to hurt very bad and I began to cry. I went to the teacher, crying in front of all my classmates and she called Adam to the front.
His defence was “Well, he told me to hit him,” and the Alpha male confirmed this fact after rushing up to help his buddy Adam. And what was the teachers solution?
“Well, you shouldn’t have told him to hit you, now go sit down.”
I had received my first lesson in school yard justice. The adults will not protect you.
So, I embarked on my second strategy. The only way I was going to survive was to make friends with Adam even though he constantly badgered me. What a twisted and sick way to try and make it 3 ENTIRE YEARS!
2. The Rumble
The second incident took place during recess in the outfield of the ball diamond. In order to maintain rank in the class, shows of force were often necessary. We all had to be reminded who was the toughest in-case anyone forgot. So, we would wrestle each other individually and the winner gained rank.
Well, guess who I got pared up with? Yes, Adam! He was my torturer and wanted to again remind me of this. However, the outcome was not as you expect. I managed to enlock his head and arm and slammed him onto the grass. He was quite stunned but not hurt. As I was the clear winner the match was over and we stepped to the sidelines and he said something which I will remember forever.
“Nice toss,” he panted while trying to get his wind back.
After that he no longer tormented me as I now had the confidence to engage this brute in combat and he knew it. But remember, I had endured his bullying for the entire year in the 2nd grade, the 3rd grade, the 4th grade and half of the 5th. Yes, 3 and a half years until my victory.
So when I see a video like this, I CHEER LOUDLY when the victim wins. Casey turned the other cheek quite a few times and the bully got was was coming to him.
It makes me VERY ANGRY when I see bumbling adults who have no understanding of the intricacies of the social order, who are VERY ineffective or UNWILLING to protect the victims say stupid things like what was mentioned by “the authorities.”
“My message is that violence does not solve anything. I think what you’ll find is that it can get you into more trouble than what it can solve.”
WHAT A CROCK OF BULLSHIT!
Yes, I know, rather extreme response on my part and is not what “adult logic” would reason. But that it is the truth!
From my own experience! I asked for help over the course of three years and NONE CAME! However, the minute I body slammed the bully, problem solved.
Since you bumbling administrators cannot understand, let me spell out why. Now that I am 33 I can give you a clear thought out reason which I could not when I was 10. HOW I WISH I had the powers of debate and argument that I do now in the second grade. I would have left them all stunned and speechless.
Here we go.
If the victim asks for help the other kids will know about it and your rank in the social order will go straight down to the last possible spot. You will be the kid that “tattled.” You will be disgraced! Force and strength is the power and those that rely on the adults to protect them will exacerbate the situation by perhaps creating even MORE BULLIES!
Secondly, the adult response to bullying is laughable. They are absolutely powerless to stop it. Say they suspend the bully (which they wouldn’t for fear of the parent) maybe they will just administer a reprimand. As I point out above, this all becomes public knowledge and things get worse. Further, the bully will continue to antagonize but do so in a less visible manner.
There is after school and off school grounds where the dictates of the administrators abruptly end. If it takes place off school grounds the school has no power! So, the odds are now turned in the bullies favor and he will find you. If it is brought up to the school, what will those dufuses say? They will say that it is not a school matter for #$%@# sakes!
So no, there is no justice in the schoolyard. The only defence is to
a. Avoid the bully as much as possible
b. Fight back – But this can be very frightening as it was for me until I finally won
c. Find a protector who is another student and never stray too far.
What adults also do not realize is the intense mental agony the victims go through every single day. Imagine waking up completely dreading your day. In fact it is a living hell from which you cannot escape. AND you have to go through this EVERY SINGLE DAY for a seemingly ETERNITY!
Now perhaps you can imagine how quickly my blood went to boil when I heard that Casey was punished and the “Authority” said such a stupid thing such as violence does not solve anything. Yes, in ADULT LAND violence does not solve things and there are more clever ways to inflict devastation on your opponent. But in adult land it is not as severe as it is for kids, the rules are different and you’re not getting punched in the head day in and day out.
So what would I do as a parent in this situation? Well, my boy is 3 months old and having remembered my own horrible bully experience I certainly do not want him to go through that. Here is what I will do
1. Self Defence – As you know, I have a special affiliation with Japan and my boy is half Japanese. It is quite common for kids to do martial arts and I would like to learn more as well. So, while he is still young we are signing up and *hopefully* he will take a shine to it. Of course I will not make him do anything he doesn’t want to do but when he sees his old man joining in the training perhaps this will create a favorable impression.
2. Bullies in school. – If he does have a problem with a bully I will go straight to the parents but not in an aggressive manner. I am a sales person and deal with thousands of people. I know people and will engage them positively and have an honest chat with the bully’s father perhaps over a beer or two and have him correct the situation. I’m pretty certain I can handle the situation in such a way that it is all positive and that most adults cannot do this. Most adults would probably go over and simply complain which would make things worse.
I understand how things would probably progress and keeping the welfare of my son upmost in my mind would resolve the problem with positive engagement. No need for administrators to lay down rules if I went to them, but instead, make friends and have them keep an eye out.
I place greater faith in the Karate however but would instruct him (as Karate teaches) to walk away first until that wasn’t an option.
Well, that is that. Now you probably think I have forgotten about “The Art Incident.” Well, I haven’t and bring this up for two reasons.
1. It shows the alpha male can crumble quickly
2. There is no justice in school
3. The Art Incident
I went to a Catholic school and every Sunday we had public school kids come into our classroom for religious training. The problem was that every Monday we would return to find our desks completely ravished and our pens, erasers and so on stolen!
We reported this to “The Authorities” but what did they do? Well, what you can expect from school authorities which is absolutely nothing.
So, our second strategy was to set a trap. This was created by filing down two pencils to act at “posts” which fit in very snugly between the bottom and top portions of the desk (the open area where you put your books, supplies etc.) By attaching a very tight rubber band it effectively created a barrier where should you stick your hand in without looking the pencils would fly and smack your hand.
Well, these were unsuccessful.
Then, one day while we were sitting in art class, one of the students got the idea to steal items out of the art closet. It was easy, we just ask for permission to sharpen our pencil and the sharpener just happened to be located in the art closet with all the supplies!
So we would go sharpen our pencil and stuff pens, pencils, markers whatever into our pockets. Now, not only had we regained what we had lost but made a nice profit to boot!
Well, this couldn’t last and one day our 5th grade teacher in a serious tone said that “many items are missing from the art closet.” We knew the gig was up and the storm that was coming. The blood rushed to my head and I started to sweat. However, as she was speaking I formulated a plan to secretly put all my gains back in the closet and thus beat the investigation.
Well, during her inquiry, the Alpha Male decided to break down and cry. It came out suddenly and without warning like a siren.. wwwwaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. He had cracked. To our astonishment, the tough kid, the ALPHA MALE just crumbled before everyone’s eyes! We co-conspirators let the teacher interrogate him and have his cry fest and then the unthinkable happened. He points directly at me and says “YOU DID IT TOOOOOO.”
I was toast.
Our parents are called for a meeting with the principal and things became even more ridiculous. With my mother is crying, me just sitting there wondering what capital punishment I was going to receive, the principal puts on a fantastic show. She embellishes by saying that we “bragged about it,” which was UNTRUE! Why the hell would we brag when in doing so we knew we would probably get caught! The operation was HUSH HUSH man, our lips were sealed! But no, the principal in trying to wring ever more emotion out of our mothers decides to make things up.
So, we were punished which for me meant getting spanked with a ping pong paddle.
What is the moral of all this?
There is no justice in the schoolyard.
Our stuff was being stolen, the authorities are worthless, you can take corrective action but watch out for the Alpha Male who is much much weaker than he seems.
And oh yes, watch out for Karma and the justice of the universe. As it turned out the Principal was caught 4 years later stealing from a grocery store. As she was a Catholic Nun the supermarket had their eye on her but did not confront her the first couple of times. She continued and was caught red handed.
Yes, they tell us it was a sickness and she lost her job over it.
Oh, and to add one further jab, watch out for the Priests. In our parish we went through 3 of them who were a little too fond of little boys (No, I was never molested in case your wondering). However, as they are the boss over even the principal they can deny for years AND THE AUTHORITIES IN THE SCHOOL WILL BELIEVE THEM!!!!
So ya, twisted sick sense of justice which I got to experience firsthand.
But getting back to Casey, well done kid, well done indeed. Adults are not fair, have no idea regarding the way things work amongst school kids and can be thoroughly relied on in the case of bulling to:
a.) do nothing
b.) make the wrong decision
c.) be a dufus
CASEY THE PUNISHER!!!!!!!!!!
An interview with Casey!
An interview with the bully – See my comments below regarding this.