Corporations for Dummies

I got this in an e-mail from a friend. It’s classic:

Corporations for Dummies:

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
____
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime’ and steal someone
else’s cows and shoot the owner.
_____
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
A farmer has two cows.
You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international
community to supply more.
_____
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
_____
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.
_____
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
_____
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You pray to them for food.
_____
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.
_____
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. _____
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
_____
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.
_____
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left is kinda cute.. .