It has occurred to me that the proof for human evolution is right in front of our eyes.
One of my favorite places to think is in the sauna at my gym. The endorphins from the exercise have saturated my brain so I’m naturally high, and the heat makes me quickly relax as the sweat pours out of me. It is at this transition between a hard, intensive workout and deep relaxation that wonderful insights will often present themselves.
This gym has its amenities that include not only the sauna, but a pool, Jacuzzi and steam bath as well so it is quite popular with a very diverse group of people. It also happens to be located very close to San Francisco one of the most diverse places on the planet. Young, old, fat, thin, Chinese, Japanese, Greek, Persian, Spanish speakers, French speakers, there is no limit on the diversity found there. It is a veritable Galapagos of human specimen contained on three levels and 55,000 square feet.
Now in order for living and irrefutable proof of human evolution one must simply do the following.
Go into the men’s locker room at my gym and open your eyes.
Boom! There before you, is living walking proof of evolution while it dries itself off, applies deodorant, takes a dump and combs its hair.
Not to be rude and trying to be as genteel as I can, the best evidence lies in the last noun of the previous sentence. Hair.
When you enter a locker room with an incredibly diverse array of men you will see hair, and a lot of it. Hair will be in places it shouldn’t be, like on the tops of feet. There will often be more hair running down the back than on the tops of heads! Sometimes the hair is so plentiful on the torso it is as though they might be wearing a very poorly knitted sweater!
The image of man we most commonly see before us in a gym locker room (or any changing area for that matter) could not be farther from the more classical male portrayal best represented Michelangelo’s David. If one had never seen the nude male form before, was first shown a picture of David, then an image of one of the hairier specimens from my gym’s locker room, they could easily be forgiven for not believing the two examples are representations of the same species.
The battlefield for this debate on evolution lies in the classroom. There are monumentous debates among the states as to how the history and scientific books should be worded in regards to evolution vs other ‘theories.’ But just as Darwin emerged from his study and traveled afar for proof of his idea, our young people too engage in ‘field trips’ to further solidify and provide actual proof of what they have learned.
As my gym locker room is a paradise of living, breathing scientific proof, yet undiscovered by the academic community I propose we arrange ‘field trips’ for the most mature of our young scholars. What they will see is indeed shocking, but true science isn’t for the faint of heart! Just march those wide eyed students right on through the middle from the door to the shower and back out again. Let them pause to scribble down a few notes, snap a couple of pictures and gather undeniable evidence for consumption by the outside world. Let the realization that we are indeed descended from the apes sink in right before their own eyes in all its musty, odoriferous and fuzzy glory!
A revolution is at hand my friends. It should have occurred a century ago at the Galapagos islands but nobody lives near the Galapagos islands so how could we be absolutely sure this wasn’t some anti-religious plot to confuse the faithful? Well friends, my gym is in Daly City near San Francisco. And San Francisco is a place everyone wants to visit if they haven’t already. Perhaps in addition to field trips we could also make my gym’s locker room a stop on the big bus open top tour line! Surely then everyone would then see for themselves and the case for evolution will disseminate far and wide as they return to their home countries!
Science is so exciting especially when new discoveries are made that completely overturn long held beliefs!
A revolution indeed!